Smart, Kind, Funny...and Remembered...

The hometown news that my sister shared with me today took me aback and took me back.
A very prominent citizen of CT died yesterday.  He was a very well known federal judge, known for his astute knowledge of the law and his extreme sense of fair play, and his killer sense of humor.
I met him when I was on the brink of becoming a teenager and I regularly babysat for his children. To me was just "the dad" of the four very cute and very well-behaved children. He was the babysitting job dad who when I had ridden my bike to his house, jumped on his and accompanied me home in the dark, rather than drive me and have me come and get my bike the next day. He was the husband married to the wife, who both mirrored the family values of my own home. They spoke the same words that my parents spoke to me, they treated each other and their children with the same respect my parents did. Sometimes when you are thirteen it is much easier to hear and think about those words and actions when they are delivered not by your own parents, ( I mean REALLY!!!) but by the fun and much cooler  couple who not only let you play with their kids but they PAY you to play with them!
I learned to get over my fear of dogs at their house one stormy night when the big goofy golden retrievers that I was so leery of got so frightened of the storm that they jumped the baby gate, and came to me for comfort. How could you be frightened of something that was more afraid than you were?  I went on to have several goldens of my own...and attribute my love of goldens in big part  to Tammy and Joy, who showed me what gentle giants those big furry red dogs can be.
One weekend I went to a family wedding with their family to babysit during the reception.  It was, I guess, in retrospect, my first, "business trip".  I stayed with their very welcoming extended family. The story of the brown lunch bag containing a peanut butter and jelly sandwich that appeared on my plate at the formal family dinner caused much hilarity not only when it happened but also in the re-telling of it when I returned home.
Today  CT.  remembers and mourns a fair, kind, knowledgeable and humorous Senior U.S. District Judge,  his family remembers with love and laughter a husband, a father, a grandfather.
I, along with probably many others, whose lives were touched by him, remember and think about a man who was the best kind of example of how to live your life with grace and humor. I remember a man whose only title to me was "Mr. ".
God Speed....Mr. Dorsey! Heaven is a lot funnier today, earth is a little less so...but because you were here, it is a better place for many.....now.

My Blanket MIrrors My LIfe or...Re-Do in Process

Crocheting my latest afghan is turning into a mirror image of my life. This occurred to me last night as I unraveled six skeins of already crocheted blanket when I discovered a mistake. Life is pretty much a process of moving ahead until something stops the forward motion and we have to stop, figure it out, and then  hopefully, with new energy, more wisdom or both, head off again.
As I start to re-crochet the afghan it is fun to see that my life and this blanket are headed in the same forward motion again, at least for...........now.

Aren't they (we) cute?

Lately, a funny thing happens to me when I see  older people doing something fun...I have this thought that fleetingly runs through my head...and it is "Isn't it nice that those old people are having such fun doing..(fill in the blank with whatever they are doing)"...and then I realize that those old people are probably the same age or just a bit older than I am ....now!

Change of Perspective or Thanks Lady Who Was Sitting Next To Me...

Anyone who knows me at all knows that I do NOT have cute feet..as a matter of fact rumor has it that when I was born and my mom was counting my toes, my dad said..well never mind what he said..you get the picture!
So, given this scenario and the feet that I have lived with all my life makes it easy to see how over the top excited  I was last week when I was waiting to give blood, and the woman next to me leaned over and said."Your toes are so cute and I love that color of nail polish."
That woman's compliment made my week...and after thinking about it (okay lots of thinking and smiling about it), it taught me something.
Things change! Just because the only prize I ever won in high school was the "Ugly Feet" contest...
That was then.....and cute feet can be...now!

First Day of School...Time to Fix the "Uns"

The world in general tends to start their new year on January 1st,  a great day for new resolutions... and many choruses of Auld Lang Syne accompanied by blasts from noisemakers .
The first day of school for me has always been a much more day of new beginnings and fresh starts.
Even now after the 30 or so years of being a student,  an educator, a parent, and a caregiver who tried to ease the first day jitters of my charges and at a time when those days are just a page in the memory album, the first day of school somehow signals a fresh start, a wave of anticipation that anything is possible. It is also a time to look at the reality of where I have been, where I am and where I am  headed.
And although this September I find myself in many of the not-quite-to-be-celebrated categories (unemployed, uninsured, unsold house, even un-young:)) I embrace September just as enthusiastically as I have in past years when there were not quite so many "uns" in my life. I also rejoice  that the there is no "un" in front of the love from my family and friends and not one in front of my health.
It is time to start a new year and accept what the "uns" continually teach me..and hopefully turn some of those "uns" into "wons".
September and the first day of school signals that the time for me to start is...now.

A Penny Saved...

I grew up with mottos and axioms on the tip of the tongues of parents and teachers..(good morning stur..a story for another day:)). Old favorites like "A penny saved is a penny earned.", and "Take care of the pennies and the dollars will take care of themselves.".
I am sure I have misplaced more than few pennies in my lifetime, but I save in other ways, like shopping at discount, off brand and outlet stores.  When I save money I  always more than a little willing to share (brag) how much and what a great buy I made.  As a matter of fact, my love affair with this type of bargain shopping was illustrated by the picture that my darling daughter-in-law sent me recently.

Guess I better get going and save that penny...now!

Caught Between Two Worlds or...A Moving Experience

I'm moving...or maybe I have already moved...not quite sure these days which house, neighborhood or state I can call home.
I have one foot ready to jump into the new and am testing those waters while the toes of the other foot drag in the old, more familiar and comfortable fit of a lifestyle and loose ends are continually swooped up and tied.
One pet (the cat) is at the new house, exploring the corners and new smells while the dogs mostly travel with me on the back and forth journey that has become my temporary life.
For now I am in that place where if I need a book, a small appliance or even nail polish it invariably is at "the other house"...and compromise (or buying another book or bottle of nail polish) is the easy answer.
It is a bother and pain in the butt to have to search for stuff that is no longer in any of the places it used to be.
It is a royal inconvenience to pack up the dogs and leave the house so it can be shown without the added feature of furry monsters who think it is their job to leave dog kisses and leftover fur on the real estate agent and client.
It is scary wondering how long the house will sit without a new family to make it their own while still requiring upkeep and mortgage payments from a bank account that can only easily support one household.
On the other hand...it is fun to experience waking up on the floor of an empty room where the only thing that decorates it is the comforter that I wrapped up in the night before. Making the bed was never easier than the quick toss of the pillow and blanket into a closet, starting the day was never more simple with only a few left behind outfits to choose from.
One thing remains the same...no matter which house I am at...the day is officially started when I have that first Diet Coke.
It is time to pop the top on it.....now.

Gifts that Keep on Giving

Presents...I love them..I love to think about them, buy them, make them, give them and receive them. I like them on traditional gift-giving holidays and also on days where there is nothing on the calendar that requests a gift.
I tend to send thank you notes as soon as a gift is received, (thanks mom) but lately I have gone back over the long list of presents that I have been lucky enough to receive and realize that some of these gifts merit MORE thanks...yes..they were THAT wonderful!
Most of these presents had much more wrapped up in them than the actual gift.
Mom and Dad...you gave me the gift of knowing what it felt like to be a beloved member of our family, a group of people that supported me, loved me and laughed at my terrible jokes...even the ones that got me banished from the dinner table when I was 15 because I. would. not. stop. telling. them!
My drawers are full of amazingly fun and funny presents from my children...the semi-real gold elephant charm with the not so semi-real emerald imbedded in its' side, bought and ordered through the mail, (before the internet) by a ten year old, because it brought good luck as well as being green!
Along with the Mother's Day cards over the years, I have a few of the notes that were left on the kitchen table, when my kids were teenagers, detailing who would be where and what time my kids would be coming home or calling to check in..again pre-texting:), they are a slice of life that tell me, my kids were giving me the gift of checking in, despite what they thought of it, because it eased my mind.
Will I ever stop saving words? I don't think so, the beautiful hand-written letter I got this year from my daughter thanking me for years of mothering, is a keeper...and will be re-read again...and again..and again!
Other gifts that I remember and give thanks for anew...
The gift of happy memories...thanks for the birthday sky dive, the travel that has added so much to my life, the lake home, the way you honor and take care of your kids and mine, all of the animals and the countless ways you encourage and support every idea that flashes across my brain and ends up as conversation during our "debriefs", over dinner or in the front seat of the car!(p.s. my iPhone is also amazing!)
My sisters give me fun gifts that always make me smile or laugh...original art and photography, silly cards, and one of the best..the Scotch cooler..who knew??
Other gifts that deserve another round of thanks and if you are reading this you know who you are:
The bottles of wine labeled with the picture of animals no longer with us, and words that make me remember and smile.
The gift of organizing, cleaning and straightening my living space, saving us all from the randomness of my idea of controlled chaos, this one goes on the list right under the gift of loving my son.
The gift of the camera that was passed on to me, opening up the door and introducing me to the delights of digital SLR photography.
The set of skies, secondhand, that my dad re-invented for better than new, every night after he came home from work when I was 13.
The skates, golf clubs, bike, kayak that were not only gifts but doors to the gift of trying new things.
Tennis lessons from a very patient offspring and for showing up at a match I was in, because it was fun to have the tables turned, and watch mom after years of mom watching kids!
The t-shirt bought by a child for me at an event for the same reason!
The childhood friends of my kids who stay in touch now as adults...awesome!
This list could go much longer..but to everyone who has gifted me with these and other gifts not mentioned...thank you.
Your gifts then, have helped me to become who I am ...now.

Stash the Rose Colored Glasses---and Stay Positive

It's true...the rose colored glasses through which I view the world are officially no longer a permanent part of my face!
This is not to say that I have become a pessimist, a curmudgeon or a cranky old lady..(although there have been minutes, well okay maybe more than a few minutes, lately when I played all of those roles).
I have always had a very basic positive, upbeat take on life and I still do but there are differences between being inanely cheerful while disaster debris is falling all around your head and being proactively productive and smiling while taking care of the debris that is flying around your body.
This does NOT mean whining! In challenging times, whining helps no one and all it serves is to make the rest of the world realize that no matter how old or successful you are..you are being a brat..and no one invites brats to their birthday party! The trick is to become that person who has feet planted fairly steadily on terra-firma while still retaining a smile on the face, a song in the heart and an optimistic view of tomorrow. Easier said than done..well yeeaaauuuuh..but who said it was easy..if it was easy, it wouldn't be as much fun or as rewarding when it works!
It is amazing to wear rose colored glasses..trust me..I have a whole wardrobe full of them... a pair to match every life circumstance and I will accessorize my life with them again and soon...but some times call for us to stare down life without the rosy glow but instead in the bright light of a positive attitude and sunny disposition..and that time is...now.

Lions and Tigers and Bears..Oh My....

Dorothy, on the road to Oz, was afraid of the lions, tigers and bears that might be lurking in the woods, preventing her from reaching home.
We all meet our own version of lions, tigers and bears every day, but we don't need to be afraid of them, we just need to be able to recognize them and work with them.
The lions in our life mimic the behavior of their jungle counerparts. They march around the office, parading their superiority (they are the named king after all). Not afraid to roar when things displease them, they can be heard coming down the halls and it can be a knee shaking experience when there is a lion roaring at your desk or in your kitchen. The thing to remember about lions is that they are inactive for about 20 hours a day, getting their roar on for only about two hours daily and they are not as social as their pride. The rest of the time they prefer to spend time patrolling the edges of their territory keeping it safe from intruders. They are not particularly good hunters, leaving that job to the more agile lionesses.
If you have a lion in your life, it helps to remember that the roaring they do may not be directed at you personally. It is in part to keep the fearful things away from those they feel the need to protect and perhaps to hide a bit of their vulnerabilty and inability to hunt as well as the rest of the group.
Work to the lion's strength, accept that a lion will have periods when he is onguard for mistakes that can hurt his pride. If you can co-operatively provide the "kill" for a lion while not backing down from his roar, chances are that the lion will no longer fear your presence and mistrust your judgements and channel his roar so that you are no longer the recipient of it.
Tigers on the other hand might be even more difficult to work or live with. Their method of operation is to slink around stealthily, constantly observing and moving. They do take time to play but can change direction and pounce on their prey in a matter of seconds. Much like their smaller domestic counterparts they may like to play with their prey before demolishing it. Tigers are solitary workers and protective of their territory however, tigers can be good at sharing their kill with others they trust after the most token displays of resistance . If you have tiger creeping around and playing in your aisle, acknowledge their presence with a wave and smile and recognize that they can be a good coopeative partner and will share information for the common good...And take time to play...tigers get their best work done and then like to play, play and play some more.
Bears...ah those warm and fuzzy animals that slept with us at night to keep away the goblins in the closet! What's not to love about these funny, huggable animals? Bears are big, powerful and clumsy. They are also shy and frightened of people and will usually run in the opposite direction when coming face to face with a person. The exception to this is the mama bear who is guarding her cubs from perceived danger. If you work or live with a bear, the best piece of advice is to tread carefully when attacking a person or a project they have invested time and nurturing on. Understand that you don't have to present real danger to the project... perceived danger is enough to cause the most lovable of bears to rear up on their back legs and give warning growls. Bears also love honey and all things sweet so a thoughtful act or deed does much to turn a menacing brown bear into a cooperative, team teddy.
We all have one or more of these creatures in our life, we all can BE one or more of these creatures. A little kindness, psychology and fair play will allow for peaceful co-existence with the wild things in our life and allow us to reach our goals.....now.

What's Your Brand of Loyalty?

Loyalty...a word that maybe gets tossed around passionately in deep conversations, in shouted voice on the sidelines of athletic events and perhaps flirtatiously on barstools in your favorite pub.
Everyone proclaims some kind of loyalty to something, be it their family, work, city, toothpaste or car.
Loyalty differs not only with respect to what or who one is loyal to but also in the scope of it.
Flavor of the Day Loyalty says I think "this" is a terrific person, team, city, product and I will stay true to it...until the next next terrific person, city, product comes along and offers me more bang for my buck or more games in the winning column. With this kind of loyalty I don't want to tattoo your name on my arm... but I might consider a washable henna tattoo.
Because that is the Way it is Loyalty This loyalty says I am loyal to this because MY parents, family, teachers, ministers, coaches are... so therefore I am too. This type of loyalty is rarely questioned, thought about or consciously chosen. You don't see it emblazoned on anyone's arm either..because parents, teachers and ministers are not usually found with tattoos on their arm... be they ink or henna. This loyalty feels good..because it defines not only what we are loyal to but bonds us to a group we are comfortable with.
Floating Loyalty I will be loyal to a person or a thing over the course of many months and years. Our relationship waxes and wanes, according to what or who else I am currently being wooed by at the moment, and how convenient it is to be loyal. Floating loyalty is open to testing other newer and improved products and people but doesn't replace the old with the new..but instead just supercedes it and positions the old faitful brand down a little lower on the loyalty chain...maybe for now..maybe longer.
Until Forever Loyalty This loyalty plays out best between best friends, lovers, combat buddies and parents for their children. It says "no matter what you do, where you go, and whatever new thing supercedes me in your affections, I will always be loyal to you and know I can count on that loyalty in return from you. I don't need to get a tatto, ink or henna on my arm because this tattoo is etched in my heart and on my soul.
There is room within us for all of these kinds of loyalty, and more besides.
Our lives are multi-colored afghans warmed by past, present and yet to be formed loyalties.
I cherish all the ones from my past, sustain the ones that I hold today and anticipate the fun of future ones.
I look at loyalty a whole new way ...now!

Playing on Team Kindness

Pay it forward...random acts of kindness...
I saw one happen today and a smile was reflected on my face for a few minutes, but the one reflected in my heart wil last longer.
I was at the light rail station with my daughter , waiting to get a ticket to go to the Twins game. The line was long, but people were waiting in a "Minnesota Nice" fashion, despite the sound of the nearing train.
A young man ahead of us in line inserted his card into the machine. He tried several times and was obviously having a hard time getting the machine to read his card. He looked over his shoulder and realized tht line was about 10 people long and took his card from the machine and headed to the end of the line, so he could try again but not make so many people wait.
When it was our turn, my daughter bought three tickets instead of two, and went to the end of the line and quietly handed the young man one of them. He was surprised and thanked her in words and with a smile. ( I was not surprised, this is a young woman who has a very big kindness gene, and acts on it often).
She explained to me that this was not the first part of the story, but that a few weeks ago while riding the train in New York City, she had inadvertenly bought a non-rush hour ticket and was riding during rush hour. A gentleman sitting next to her gave the conductor the difference in her ticket price when he overheard her telling the conductor that she did not have cash but only cards, which were not accepted on that train. She said ever since that happened she has been looking for a way to pass on that act of kindness.
It is very rewarding when you see your offspring becoming a player on the world kindess team.
It also is a reminder to me to become a little more aware of what is going on around me so that I can play on that team...now.

Dear Spirit Airlines,

If I carry my lunch onto your plane..but I eat it before we land...do I get a refund..now?

Looks Can Be Deceiving..or Do What You Do Best!

I love cupcakes and it seems like everyone else in the world loves cupcakes these days too.
There are cupcake bakeries and specialty shops popping up all over..a cupcake lovers dream.
I was passing a Cinnabon last night and they had simply amazing looking cupcakes in their display case. Who knew they baked cupcakes?? They looked like cupcakes right out of a glossy magazine advertising a very posh party. As a matter of fact they are on the home page of their website. http://www.cinnabon.com/home.html
They called my name and I bought the vanilla one with the white frosting flower with the blue center on it. And this awesome looking cupcake... tasted like it was made out of glossy paper from my favorite magazines.
Cinnabon makes delightfully delicious cinnamon buns, but if all of their cupcakes taste like this one did, they need to do what they do best...make simply awesome cinnamon buns...and leave the cupcakes to Magnolias and Crumbs...at least for now.

Kicked to the US Curb

If you missed the 60 Minutes story on Nadia Prouty, check it out today.
http://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch/?id=6341542n
After years of top flight service to the United States does the mistake she made as a 19 year old deserve the huge price she continues to pay...now?

Forget Neiman Marcus, Let Me Loose in Home Depot

I want to bottle and sell whatever is in the air at Home Depot. The minute I cross their threshold I feel like a master contractor. The second I enter the garden section I feel like I can tackle any dry barren piece of earth and turn it into, if not the Garden of Eden at least a lush, green, multi-hued photographers dream backdrop.
One piece of tile, held in my hands, in the aisle of a Home Depot becomes a floor covering, a fireplace wall, a kitchen backdrop, the cover for my picnic table..the list goes on and on. Their color palette makes me believe those tints were personally developed for my walls alone.
I, almost without fail, make a purchase every time I am in the store, but more importantly, even as I exit, I am planning my next visit.
Home Depot lives their tagline, "You can do it...we can help".
Home Depot makes me feel competent and creative.
Home Depot "gets" it!
I wish it were open...now.

Plastic or...gold?

Yesterday I went to about a hundred sporting events...and it only took about two hours, and I never left my kitchen.
On the "we're moving to-do list" was a one liner... it read "pack up trophies."
The trophies represent countless hours of watching my kids and their teammates play games..all kind of games. There were team trophies, individual trophies and even ( I confess)..the first and only trophy that ever was awarded to me!
The trophies were posted to Craigslist under the "free" heading, in the hopes that they could perhaps be recycled for young Twin Cities athletes. Within three hours I had three takers...all coaches. Before I gave them to the softball coach ( he coaches THREE teams) I took them down from the high shelves above the stairs where they have lived since the mid 80's and cleaned off years of dust. While doing this, the plates on the bottom once again became readable..so I read...and in that way re-visited the events where they took place. I could not remember all of them, or even which ones belonged to which child..but there were a few that stood out and those memories totally made my day. These included the very first trophy ever to enter our house..we were all so proud of David's first (4th place:)) Little League trophy..who knew then that plastic trophies multiply faster than rabbits? I laughed out loud when I took one down that was facing the wall, and remembered how Molly insisted that it go that way because it was a trophy for "Double Consolation Winner" in a 6th grade basketball tournament..and she insisted it only meant her team on that day was the best of the worst! The (one and only) academic trophy was from a pre-sixth grade summer reading contest entered by David and three of his classmates. I cannot remember the questions or the score, but I hold in my heart the memory of the teacher who would call them "her" students but not until September..who attended and cheered them on to victory. As I dusted the plates off of the trophies, the memories flooded the kitchen, of past games, teammates, tournament weekend drives, hot dogs eaten on the fly between games (except for the youthful vegetarian who would only eat ketchup on a bun),selfless coaches and fun (and funny) parents who shared parts of their lives with me as we shared the sidelinles of events.
I'm glad that the trophies will get to sit on someone's shelf again instead of ending up in a landfill. I'm proud of my kids for not needing a trophy as proof that they were part of something bigger than themselves and were good at it.
However guys...the mom and family historian in me surfaced at some point during the day..and I pulled out and saved one trophy for each of you... and hopefully if you look at it years from now..it will be a reminder of all those who were part of the village that raised you, and the time they spent enjoying it..and you!
But that is for the future and I am off to find a box for those reminders of times well spent...now.

And in the off season....??

It was a baseball kind of weekend that included a tour of the new Twins stadium and the re-signing of Joe Mauer. The stadium is every bit as wonderful as all the advance hoopla promised and I can't wait to enjoy watching the boys of summer play while the sun warms my face and the skyline of Minneapolis serves as the backdrop.
Really glad that the Joe Mauer will be behind the plate. I think he is a tremendously talented athlete and probably an even nicer person but I have to at least ask it once...is ANYONE worth that much money?? For playing a game?? The good news is that baseball is a relatively short season, so maybe in the off-season Joe can work on finding a cure for cancer or solving world peace.
At least that is what I think...now.

I'm Waiting for the 7th Generation ....

Lately, it takes even longer for me to get out of the house in the morning than it used to. Something rather time consuming has been added to my usual routine of tooth-brushing, dog feeding and making sure my shoes match.
Now before I even begin to search for my car keys and grab my diet Coke from the fridge, I have to find a plain brown wrapper and some tape to wrap my Non-iPhone in so that I can avoid the embarrassment and pain that comes from having a phone that does not have 75,000 apps available to it…(and therefore to me).
I used to love my PDA… I got to play Bubble Breaker while sitting in waiting rooms, standing in elevators and during the change of innings at Twins games.
That was then….This is now…
Everyone sitting around me in those waiting rooms, standing in elevators and during the change of innings at Twins games is breathing into the microphone on their iPhone so they can blow up a virtual balloon (Bal-Loon), virtually doing their book club reading (Classic) or turning their friends into Bobbleheads (Bobble Head)..and as for me….
I am holding something wrapped and taped in a plain brown bag…playing Bubble Breaker.
Who would believe this is still true... now?

Money or Minutes??

In these days of belt tightening many of us are feeling economically challenged... there is way too much month left at the end of the money.
For others, the bank balance remains in the black... but the "to do" list still looks pretty intimidating at the end of a day that was crammed full of activity.
If you could choose to have a surplus....would you order some extra dollars for your bank balance or a watch that moved more slowly through your day?
I'm thinking about how to find those extra dollars and that extra time...now.